De do do do, de da da da

i blame this game on me

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 05:50:53 GMT

At first, I wore a blindfold and wasn’t told that you cheat
But, now I participate in the fate of my own defeat
Cuz still to this day, I play knowing I’ll lose
I don’t understand why you land in the places you choose
Or why I’m still here with these tears, as I just observe
As you flourish to nourish some vile nerve
Deciding on not hiding, is how you scheme?
The bets you call turn to regrets for all it seems
You scored with a whore against our very own team

All we do is quarrel about your immoral move
Now, your only goal is to roll until I disapprove
Its hard to accept you expect “a get out of jail free card” for bail
I sustain the pain of disrespect as I stack the fact you fucking fail
An emotional commotion from you, I will always hoard
I’m realizing I’m strategizing on grey checkerboard
I’m confused with memories of what we used to possess
I miss that gist behind our intertwined kiss we did express
If you died, I could hide from my incessant seek
To be connected to a guy who wrecked it cuz he's weak
“Come out, come out, wherever you are” Is now a muzzled scream
I cease to ignore you were the piece I needed before in a puzzled dream
I don't want to reflect on your dominoes effect theme
I did what I could, you should dwell in hell's regime

You're unaware its unfair, I wish I actually didn't care about your survival
I admit I’m stronger and discover
I fit, no longer as lover,
Just rival

hmmm

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 05:12:19 GMT

wowzahs

ill be 20 on Super BOwl Sunday

whootyfuckindoo

another year.

i still feel as lost as i was last year.

resolutions:
quick drinking, quick smoking, claim celibacy

yea that should about do the trick of solving all my petty problems.

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:28:26 GMT

wow
its been more than a year

summer still smells so sweet.

i dont even talk to the people i knew this time last year.
i let many good friendships drift. its a bad habit i think.
i lost a lot of people... and im sorry i let you go...its hard to keep in touch when your trying to find yourself.

im happy.
i am.

which is more than most can say

but hey, maybe some day we will cross paths once again and share a drink, a good laugh, and a fond memory.

i count on it. :)

:)

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 05:37:49 GMT

summer is amazing.
i dont think ive ever been so content, with who i am, and who they are.

♥just filled with it♥

annnnnnnnnnd i guess im spending (some, hopefully not as much as they said)time in NY. but its coo, Mumps, TK, and JEss are for sure goin to the eastcoast... so basically, its gonna be fucking LOVE. pure, baby, pure.

LIVE IT.itgoeson.

Thu, 10 May 2007 05:15:03 GMT

they all just left.
and im here... the last one left.
left left left behind.

i miss the screaming. screaming is better than silence.
left left left in silence.

theyre gonna miss my prom.
theyre gonna miss my confirmation.
theyre gonna miss me? hah!

fuck this. im done with sulking. im throwing a party. pure is the cure. on the roof... lets do this!

freezing time... workin on it.

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 03:51:44 GMT

this summer is our last.

we arent 14 anymore.
but i think we should do all our usual stuff, just for old time sake... when we were just a bunch of dumb kids:

tying kites to my bike.
street hockey.
freeze tag.
pen pals.
rock/paper/scissors
fire crackers.
paper planes.
chinese fire drills.
side walk chalk.
fruit loopin.
bottle rockets.
rollin houses at noon.
saran wrapping cars.
stealing lawn gnomes.
"borrowing" specific traffic cones.
swing sets.
duck ponds.
super nintendo.
bubbles!
darts.
pool.
band practice.
my roof.
garages.
long boarding.
beach cruising.
inflatable pool.
pb&j picnics.
the lagoon.
bonfires.
Brandy's.
Mr. Pete's.
Somerset.
Hunnington BEach.
Seal Beach.
San Pedro.
The Bluffs.
2nd Street.

full trust.
real smiles.
true words.
meaningful hugs
stupid crushes.
dumb decisions.

no hate.
no tears.
no lies.
no troubles.
no consequences.

no good byes.

thanks guys. i have a lot of people who call me their friend... but the few who i can return the favor happen to be leaving the nest in 4 months. good luck kids and congrats. but hey, dont worry... if we are friends, we still will be when i see you again. no time for sulking, we have a huge ass list to check off.

Still round the corner there may wait, A new road or a secret gate.

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 06:52:59 GMT

i wonder if ill ever find someone i can trust.

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 02:57:02 GMT

i could of loved you... but now all i want to do is hurt you.

ps

new york... 5-14th. if i had a choice... i wouldnt go. why? so i can hear how much you miss me... and love me...

if it were true, id believe you

why is the truth so hard to utter?

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 20:51:58 GMT

I wish you would just tell me what you want from me...

Today I let go.

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 23:46:13 GMT

My life would be easier if I never met you.

i dig it so

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 20:06:02 GMT

My "Twenty-First" Birthday was more than I could have ever asked for...

thanks lovelies ♥ i love you

lifes good. if youre not gonna love me, its cool... cuz someone else will.

J.H.
H.W.
E.A.
H.M.
B.W.

thanks for loving ME. more like putting up... FUCK MEXICO! FUCK HOLLYWOOD! FUCK PALM SPRINGS! :)

"Getting kicked out of every place we go, is just what we do." 02/01/07

this year... is MY YEAR

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 18:55:19 GMT

Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice

Laid back

with my mind on my money and my money on my mind

its name be Gidget... Moon Doggie's equal, ya mean? ♥

new year
new car
new friends
new roommate
new attitude
new me

i wish i knew

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 08:04:46 GMT

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
Top Ten Things You Want To Quit Doing

1. quit smoking
2. quit drinking
3. quit dreaming
4. quit lying
5. quit regreting
6. quit pretending
7. quit wondering
8. quit wishing
9. quit hoping
10. quit apologizing

what i want, i need to find.
what you want, i need to leave behind.

theres no more you can do

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 08:30:10 GMT

blemished, snafued
just riven to an end
go ahead and believe
you ever were my "friend"

slander, fabrication
no longer can pretend
let it go, let it drop
i have nothing to mend

nothing to mend

nothing to mend

so please, dont try, dont try to amend
cuz you just don't comprehend
its my heart you offend
its my "goodbye" i send
and i recommend
you descend
otherwise, your funeral... we all will attend

ehhh, im due for a rant

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 02:24:28 GMT

Daisies no longer verify if he loves me. Rock, paper, scissors, no longer solves "difficult situations" A night-light no long saves me from the darkness. And, being picked last at kickball is no longer my greatest fear.

I miss feeling safe. Somehow I lost that along the way. You know, that comfort feeling, where your worriless. Its like running out into freshly fallen snow as a child, but your warmly secured by a winter coat. Shielded from the bitter snow. So safe from the piercing cold.

I go through friendships, just like a fad. Flavor of the week. It's kinda sad... and I kinda feel bad, but whatcha gonna do? I can make a "close friend" just about as quick as I can drop one. If you screw me over... I'm not exactly a forgiving person. I just get over you, and move on. I think thats cuz I was raised that way. I learned not to hold on to anything, or care about anyone too much... cuz when I leave, it'll just hurt more to say good-bye. And the people who you trust the most, end up hurting you the most. But then, there are just those friendships I've had where we just kinda stopped, all together. Nothing went wrong... Just kinda grew apart... a falling out as you might say. And for those friendships... I would say "I'm sorry" for not keeping in touch... but that would just be a lie. It takes two to keep a friendship.

So please... if you see me, don't say hi. you can keep your i-miss-yous and where-have-you-beens and go fall down a well. lying is a sin, you know.

oh dear.

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 06:45:32 GMT

Halloweeeeeeen is the bestest

oh dear. that was fun. and the most humerous part is... i didnt realize until afterwards that Camille and I made a Nick sandwich... oh dear.

i love how pictures show up on the internet the day after. im slow tho. whoopsies.

ps
gotta love that Asian glow, yo.

life is great.

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 01:50:26 GMT

So lets update

Schools not too bad. ive met A LOT of new cool kids as well as caught up with A LOT of old familiar faces. little studying, lotta partying. i dig it so. My classes are crazy. if my teachers show up, which they barely do, i have class once a day. and the class times range from one to three hours. they basically let us out whenever the hell they feel like. but like i said, this is IF they even show up. i seriously just had a 5 day weekend.

i also had the house all to myself this past week... to make a long story super short lets just say a Roof Party might souuuunnnnd like a good idea... it sure in hell is not.

and softball... its crazy. our first game is Wednesday and its against UC Northridge... and then next week we play UCLA. gah... intimidated is an understatement.

and this weekend is LB Poly's HOMECOMING! five words baby: GREEN AND GOLD BODY PAINT. can you dig it?

and HALLOWEEN IS COMING! WOOO! so many shindigs, cant wait. OOO! lets go to Knotts Scary Farm, whos with me?

im lovin life at the moment. i kinda miss my peculiar yet highly amusing parents, but thats it. other than that, no complaints here.

schools great.
familys great.
friends are great.
guys are great.
im def great.
life is great.

sometimes, you just gotta do it

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 06:12:51 GMT

"Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong
it learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared." -Tupac

i saw my middle school crush today, he hasnt changed and i love it

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 03:28:48 GMT

so no matter how huge my school is i somehow see one random ass kid i know a day. and when i mean random... i mean, its been like 5 years random. its funny how u still recognize people.

ive seen so many old acquaintance, old friends, old enemies, old flings... and its nice that they remembered me too. thats the best feeling in the world... to be remembered.

i heard Dobbs started their first day of Senior year today. ehh, its cool. im really having a kickass time at Long Beach. im livin and lovin life at the moment. no regrets.

i wonder if people even noticed i didnt show up today at DF... i only went there for what? two years... and for me... thats actually A LOT, since im Miss Nomad who cant stay put in a school for more than a year. i wonder if anyone of them will remember me in five year... but i doubt it... people barely talk to me now. but whatever, i have to say it doesnt really bother me. the best thing i got out of my parents moving around so goddamn much is... i find out who my real friends are. its nice.

summers over but its still 95 degrees. wake me up when september ends.

Live for the moment. Take every chance. NO REGRETS!

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 22:00:36 GMT

Long Beach

Shoreline

"How are you?"
I'm happy.

and I'm content.
Content with the fact that friendships here have changed and people have grown up and apart.
Content with the fact people will eventually stop writing. I know it... I got it... and Im ok with it. Part of life... deal.

and for once in my life... I'm content with being a nomad.

If i wasnt... how would I have met you?

Oh nice, snakes on crack

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 07:46:45 GMT

this one is for you Jazz and Nerissa. Samuel L does not... and i repeat... DOES NOT cry. oh hellz naw. SIT DOWN BITCH! Its funny... cuz theyre white.

"I'm here tonight to present the award everyone's been waiting for: best movie. Now, this award holds a special place in my heart because next year I'll be winning it for Snakes on a Plane. Now I know, I know that sounds cocky, but I don't give a damn. I am guaranteeing that Snakes on a Plane will win best movie next year. Does not matter what else is coming out. The New James Bond... no snakes in that! Ocean's 13... where my snakes at? Shrek the Third... green, but not a snake. No movie shall triumph over Snakes on a Plane. Unless I happen to feel like making a movie called Mo' Motha-fuckin' Snakes on Mo' Motha-fuckin' Planes."

college... oh snap

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 18:10:16 GMT

Mon-Wed: Business Law
11:00 AM 12:20 PM

Tues-Thurs: Spanish
8:00 AM 11:00 AM

8 Units
$1,547.00

WOOO! what am i getting myself into. gah!

ive been in one spot for too long anyways, its time for this nomad to bounce

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 21:11:19 GMT

Unofficial Results Online
California High School Proficiency Exit Exam
Name: Shelby C. Deluna
District: Out of State Schools
School: Out of State School
Test Date: June 24, 2006
Test Site: 3005
Location: Los Alamitos High
3591 Cerritos Ave.
Los Alamitos, CA 90720

The CHSPE consists of two sections, both of which must be passed to receive a Certificate of Proficiency. You have passed both sections.
CHSPE Status: Passed

friends are made by many acts and lost by only one

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 23:43:01 GMT

Are they losing touch with me or am i losing touch with them.

we'll never really know.

i guess growing apart is a part of growing up.

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."

but whatever. you win some u lose some. its all good. my summer is kickass and im lovin it

this isnt exactly how i pictured my summer

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 00:28:42 GMT

so today in my swim class a six year old boy decided that he didnt like to swim with his swim trunks on and chucked them over a fence... so basically, to make a long story short, i chased a naked first grader around my pool for a good 10 mins and then in the pool for a good 20 mins. good news is... i found the shorts! bad news is... he refused to put them on.

wow, they dont pay me enough for this.

but its coo. half naked lifeguards basking in the sun makes up for the spawns of satan